Take a moment to think about your closest friends and family members. Call to mind the people who always have your back, who have seen you through tough times, and who know they can count on you if they need help.
Now, take a moment to think of the people in your life with whom you would not consider yourself close with. Call to mind the people who always seem to be talking about themselves, who belittle your ideas and concerns, and who you would not necessarily be inclined to try to support through a crisis.
Between those two categories, there are likely plenty of people in your life—acquaintances, social media “friends,” various coworkers, and the like—who you do not have strong feelings about one way or the other.
Of these three groups, which is most likely to support you and your ongoing recovery journey? It might seem like it goes without saying that the first group—your close friends and family members—are going to be your best source of support in recovery from a substance use disorder.
So why are we saying it if it goes without saying? Because it can be all too easy to forget this important idea in the rush of our daily lives. You might know who your best supporters are, but you might be bad about ensuring that you spend time with them, given your busy schedule and many responsibilities. But letting those positive relationships languish can start to undermine the foundations of your recovery.
Let’s take a look at some strategies for keeping your most important relationships intact.
Put Time With Friends and Family in Your Schedule
You have all of your important appointments and responsibilities in your calendar, right? Whether you have a physical calendar or keep track of everything online, you keep track of what you have coming up so that you can be where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be there—and be prepared for the moment.
As a rule, though, folks do not tend to schedule regular times to get together with those closest to them. You might have a recurring work meeting on Wednesday mornings, but you might not have a recurring time for coffee and conversation with a friend.
In a very real sense, things that are in our calendars seem important. Things that are not in our calendars do not. Given that spending time with supportive friends and family members is important—both in general and to your recovery efforts—it follows that opportunities to connect with those folks should have a place in your calendar.
Remember That Short Conversations Beat No Conversations
Okay, sure, putting time with your friends and family in your calendar seems like a good idea. But there are going to be moments—particularly in recovery—when you might need a boost at an unscheduled time, right? Absolutely.
That is why it is important to remember that a brief interaction with someone important to you beats no interaction at all. Do you have time for, say, an eight-minute phone call? Your friend probably does, too. Could you send a quick check-in text just to get a little connection on the go? Even your friends and family members who hate talking on the phone might be up for some texting.
These quick moments of connection can help you make it through a stressful day, so make the effort to reach out one way or another when you can.
Be Sure That You Are a Good Friend to Your Friends
We have been focused on the ways your close friends and family can support you and your recovery journey. But, of course, it is equally important that you are a good friend to the important people in your life.
What does that look like? First, as we have noted above, it involves making an effort. Be comfortable being the person who reaches out to set up a weekday lunch or a weekend activity. Next, it is important to avoid getting in the habit of spreading—or even listening to—gossip, which is almost never helpful and often quite hurtful. Also, it is important to understand that sometimes a friend might need you to drop everything so you can be there for them. If your friends and family members would do that for you, you should be ready to do it for them.
As it would turn out, these acts of friendship and service support your recovery, too.
We Are Here to Help
At Bel Aire Recovery Center, located near Wichita, Kansas, we help the individuals we serve make life-changing transformations so that they can build a life free from the influence of drugs or alcohol. Our inpatient and outpatient programs are grounded in evidence-based practices, and our team is made up of experienced experts who know how to support each person with empathy and a personalized approach. When you are ready to leave substances in your past so you can enjoy a brighter future, we are ready to help you in the present moment.
