All of us are subject to the full range of human emotions. Sometimes, we know what causes a certain emotion (for example, when seeing someone you love makes you feel happy). Other times, the source of an emotion is less clear (for example, when you wake up feeling sad and are not sure why). No matter whether the underpinning of a given emotion is obvious or not, our emotions can have a dramatic effect on our behavior and even our mental health. Given that reality, it probably is not terribly surprising that some emotions can pose a risk to your ongoing sobriety.
We want to consider a few of those emotions in this blog post, but first we want to be clear about the nature of emotions themselves. Emotions, in and of themselves, are neither good nor bad. While it is tempting to talk about emotions in terms of whether they are positive or negative, that framing distracts from the fact that it isn’t the emotion itself that is good or bad. Instead, it is the way we react to any given emotion that can be positive or negative.
Take anger (which we will write more about below), for example. Anger is often thought of as a negative emotion, but anger over an injustice can spark a concerted effort to make change. In that way, a so-called “negative” emotion can lead to undeniably positive outcomes.
Nevertheless, when it comes to the following emotions, it is important for a person in recovery from a substance use disorder not to leave them unaddressed.
Analyzing Anger
A person in recovery might, from time to time, find themselves feeling angry. That anger might be due to mistakes you made and time you lost while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. It might be directed at people who enabled or encouraged your ongoing drug use. Or it might well be directed squarely at yourself for getting yourself into a bad situation with substances in the first place.
Sometimes, that anger can be hard to set aside, which is understandable but also dangerous to your efforts to stay sober. So what can you do?
As we noted above, sometimes anger can be focused in such a way that it leads to positive results. Rather than turning back to drugs or alcohol to try to lessen your feelings of anger, think of that anger as a helpful reminder for all the ways in which substance use made your life worse rather than better. That can help you stay motivated to stay sober.
Grappling with Grief
Grief is a difficult emotion to manage whether or not you are in recovery. The loss of someone or something important to you can truly upend your equilibrium. Grief often becomes a container for a whole range of emotions—including anger and deep sadness. It can feel as though you will never feel better, and that can tempt you toward relapse.
Managing grief is never easy, and you may need to give yourself grace to feel what you are feeling for a while—as long as that does not lead to drug or alcohol use. You might also manage grief by connecting with others who might have experienced the same—or a similar—loss. Sharing happy memories can help you make progress toward easing your grief, while still keeping your loved one at the forefront of your heart and mind.
The idea that a challenging emotion can be eased by sharing it with others leads us to our next feeling.
Leaning Away From Loneliness
There are times when the recovery journey can feel very lonely, indeed. Particularly when you are struggling with cravings, you may find yourself spending more time alone so that you are not exposed to drugs or alcohol in a social setting. You might feel like you are best able to keep your sobriety intact by limiting the time you spend with those who might, for example, habitually have a drink with dinner.
But loneliness can be particularly dangerous for a person in recovery. That is because it can be terribly difficult to withstand cravings or to keep yourself motivated when you don’t have healthy friendships with others. The key is to build a support network of people who will always support your sobriety and who will be at your side in a crisis.
It is important to remember that one of the keys to finding good friends is to concentrate on being a good friend to others. When you do so, you will find yourself less lonely—and more likely to stay sober.
We Feel Great About Helping Others
At Bel Aire Recovery Center—located near Wichita, Kansas—we find joy in helping the people we serve address substance use disorders and co-occurring mental health disorders. We provide personalized care that is built on a foundation of evidence, expertise, experience, and empathy. If you are ready to reclaim your sobriety and your life, we are ready to help.
