It is undeniable that many people spend a lot of time thinking about romantic relationships. We think about celebrity couples. We have strong opinions about the romantic prospects of a whole range of fictional characters. And, of course, we also might spend a good portion of our time thinking about our own relationships—or lack thereof. Whole industries—dating apps, for example—exist to support our pursuit of romantic connection.
For a person newly in recovery from a substance use disorder, however, diving into a new relationship might not be a great idea. You have plenty on your plate in the early days of recovery, and much of your focus needs to be on you rather than on a romantic partner.
We want to be clear here: we are not suggesting you should end an existing romantic relationship if your partner is supportive of your recovery. But we are suggesting that if you start your recovery as a single individual, there are some advantages to maintaining that status. Not forever, but for a while.
Let’s consider why that would be.
Setting Up the Routines that Will Support Your Recovery
In the early days of your recovery, you will want to focus your attention on creating a set of routines that will serve you well going forward. Those routines can help you keep moving forward even when the going gets tough, so establishing them early on is important.
What sort of routines are we talking about? Here is a partial list:
- Attend 12-Step or other recovery support meetings
- Go to therapy for any mental health disorders entangled with your substance use
- Commit to exercising regularly, eating healthfully, and sleeping restfully
- Take up practices like yoga and/or mindfulness meditation or journaling that can boost your emotional well-being
- Contribute to your community in meaningful ways
- Cultivate a spirit of gratitude in your own life
Again, these sorts of routines firm up the foundations of your recovery so that you are set up for success.
Other Situations May Require Your Attention
In addition to this sort of routine building, your recovery requires reintegrating yourself at work. It can involve figuring out how best to talk to others about your experiences—or how to fend off inquiries that feel too personal. And you might have plenty of non-romantic relationships that need to be rebuilt or repaired due to your behavior while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
All of those things—and others besides—will require careful and sustained attention. That attention is easier to provide if your thoughts are not consumed with your romantic relationship.
Staving Off Some Stress in Recovery
Listen, we know that love is a many splendored thing. But it can also be a quite stressful thing—and high levels of stress can be a danger to your recovery. That is always true, but it might be especially true right at the start of your efforts to leave drugs or alcohol behind.
Leaving a relationship for later can be the best move in terms of managing your stress levels.
How Long Should You Wait Before Looking for Love?
You might wonder just how long your personal moratorium on romantic relationships is supposed to last. Well, the standard advice to those newly in recovery is to wait at least a year before partnering up again.
However, there is nothing magical about the passing of the one-year mark in recovery. Making a mature, careful choice regarding romance will serve you well.
There Is Not a Single Good Reason Not to Get Help
When you are struggling with drugs or alcohol, you might find yourself making up all sorts of excuses to avoid getting yourself into treatment. You might, for example, try to convince yourself that you do not actually have a problem. Or you might decide you have to keep your problem a secret so that you are not judged by others. You could buy into the idea that you simply do not have time to spend getting treatment. You could even decide that your situation is hopeless, so pursuing treatment would just be a waste of time and effort.
Here is our position: All of those excuses (and any others you might think of) are unhelpful at best and dangerous at worst. When you are in the grip of a substance use disorder, the best thing you can do is get treatment, and the best time to get that treatment is right now.
Located near Wichita, Kansas, Bel Aire Recovery Center can provide the personalized, evidence-based help you need to reclaim your life from drugs or alcohol. We have the expertise, experience, and empathy necessary to ensure you will get substances out of your system and gain the strategies, resources, and resolve you will need to start your recovery journey with confidence.
When your time in treatment comes to an end, you can still rely on Bel Aire’s alumni program to keep you connected to our staff, resources, and others who have benefited from our approach to treatment.
There is not a single excuse that is sufficient to keep you from pursuing treatment. We are ready to get started whenever you are ready to make a change for the better.
