Some people love to be surprised. A surprise party thrown in their honor, for example, can absolutely delight them. The rush of emotion they feel when everyone leaps up and shouts, “Surprise,” is something they find exhilarating.
Other people hate to be surprised. A surprise party thrown in their honor can upset them rather than causing delight. The rush of emotion they feel when the surprise is revealed might include anxiety, uncertainty, and more. Exhilaration is likely not in the mix for these folks.
You could fall into either of those camps—and you might move between them depending on a variety of factors. Neither category is absolute. After all, most everyone enjoys the surprise of a discount or refund while most everyone also hates the surprise of an unexpectedly large repair bill. So, the situation around the surprise certainly matters.
If your situation is that you are in recovery from a substance use disorder, it is all too possible that a surprise could test the foundations of your recovery. A recovery journey that is proceeding with relative smoothness is generally built on a series of routines—regular exercise, restful sleep, healthful eating, 12-Step (or other recovery) meeting attendance, time devoted to an engaging hobby and to seeing family and friends, and so on—and surprises have a way of blowing up routines.
Since that is the case, it is important to have some strategies ready for dealing with surprises when they arise. Notice we said “when” and not “if.” Surprises pop up for all of us. When you are in recovery, it is important to be as prepared as you can be.
Let’s take a look at some potential strategies for surprises.
Surprise! You Are Feeling Anxiety
As we have noted, a surprise—even a nice surprise—can lead to feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. Anxiety can be a problem for those in recovery from a substance use disorder because it can be tempting to turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to address those anxious feelings.
That, of course, is not what you want to do, so you need other ideas for addressing anxiety when it pops up as a result of a surprise. You might, for example, take a few moments to do a mindfulness exercise, engage in box breathing, or engage your senses with a countdown technique.
Doing any of these things will give you a few quiet moments alone to regain your sense of equilibrium. Once you do that, you will be better able to deal with the surprise—no matter what kind of surprise it might be. If you find you need more time to settle down, calling a good friend (or even your sponsor) can be a great way to get yourself recentered.
Surprise! You Are Feeling Anger
Sometimes a surprise causes feelings that bypass anxiety entirely and arrive instead at anger. You can probably think of any number of examples—a car accident, a sudden layoff from work, a broken promise, and more. When anger arises, it can cause you to feel out of control, and that lack of control can lead you to do or say things you would not normally do. The results of those things can be just as bad—even worse—than the initial negative surprise.
The strategies we outlined above (mindfulness, box breathing, counting down) can be effective when you are feeling anger. So, too, can an intentional decision to step away from whatever is causing the feelings of anger for as long as it takes to calm down. Again, a call to a friend or someone in your recovery community can be a good idea. What is not a good idea is turning back to drugs or alcohol to try to tamp down your anger.
Surprise! You Are Feeling Excitement
It might seem as though a surprise that causes feelings of excitement could not possibly impact your recovery in a negative way. But just like anxiety and anger, excitement can be problematic, too.
Here is how: A surprise that leads to feelings of excitement can make you feel like celebrating—and might make you feel invincible, too, since everything is going your way. A desire to celebrate and the sense that you are on top of the world can make it seem like knocking back a drink or two or dabbling with your former drug of choice would not be such a big deal. But, of course, it would be a big deal—a big deal that could lead to a relapse. And that is not exciting at all.
When you experience a surprise that leads to excitement, keep a level head. You should absolutely celebrate when things are going well. The key is to celebrate in healthy, meaningful ways with supportive friends and family. You can enjoy the moment—and you should remember that the feeling is much better than anything you could get from drugs or alcohol.
No Surprise Here: Bel Aire Can Help
If you are struggling with drugs or alcohol, your best course of action is to pursue treatment right away. At Bel Aire Recovery Center, located near St. Louis, Missouri, we can help you leave substances behind with a personalized, evidence-based treatment plan. Ready to make a change? We can help.
