The first step toward recovery from a substance use disorder is detoxification. That is the essential process of getting drugs or alcohol out of your system. It is best done in a medically supervised environment because weathering the rigors of withdrawal can be extremely challenging. As part of a treatment program, the detox process lets you head to rehab with confidence that you are well-positioned to leave drugs or alcohol in your past.
The toxicity of various substances probably goes without saying. But the more metaphorical toxicity that can be part of relationships can be harder to acknowledge—especially if that toxicity comes from a person you consider a friend or from a family member.
It is important to be honest with yourself about toxic relationships because they can be quite dangerous to your recovery efforts. Identifying and ending these sorts of relationships is an excellent way to provide ongoing support for your recovery.
Let’s consider how you might determine whether or not a relationship is posing a risk to your recovery—and what you should do if it is.
Identifying a Toxic Relationship
You no doubt have a whole bunch of different relationships in your life. There is your family, of course. This includes your parents, your siblings, your spouse, your children, your in-laws, and even more relatives in your extended family. There are your friends, folks who might range from friendly acquaintances to deep, lasting connections. There are coworkers on the job, co-religionists in your faith community, and co-participants in your favorite hobby.
All of these relationships—and more besides—can, of course, be positive. But they can also be negative. In some cases, they can be negative enough to start to chip away at the foundations of your recovery.
Consider, for example, that “friend” who is always explaining what you are doing wrong. They don’t like your clothes or your car or your taste in music. They don’t like your other friends. Maybe they think you are handling your recovery incorrectly—or worse, maybe they wish you would return to drug or alcohol use.
This sort of “friend” is clearly toxic, and yet it can sometimes be hard to end the relationship. Maybe your connection to this person goes way back. Maybe you genuinely enjoy their company—except when they are being mean. Maybe you are hoping you can change them for the better if you are just patient.
When it comes to protecting your recovery, however, (and really in any other situation), those reasons to maintain a relationship are insufficient. And that means it is time to take action.
Ending a Toxic Relationship
We want to be clear: Good, supportive relationships sometimes hit rough patches. Disagreements arise and feelings get hurt and so on. We are not suggesting that each time a relationship goes a little sideways for a time you have to end it completely.
We are suggesting, however, that some relationships are out of whack all of the time. When faced with unrelenting unkindness or a lack of support for your recovery efforts, you need to make a change.
The first step is to tell the person in question that you need to end the relationship. Ideally, you would do this clearly, briefly, and without too much emotion. You should also be prepared to end the conversation (and to leave if you are meeting in person) before it has a chance to turn ugly. Having a truly supportive friend or family member with you when you share the news is likely a good idea.
Then you have to take steps not to backslide. Block the individual on social media and from calling you. Avoid places where you know they will be—and avoid confrontation when you run into them inadvertently.
They may eventually come around and want to apologize. You can accept that apology without rebuilding the relationship. That is to say, you can forgive but you do not have to forget.
This All Might Sound Extreme
We acknowledge that we are suggesting drastic action when it comes to toxic people, and that may run afoul of your desire to be kind. Kindness is certainly a wonderful attribute—and one that can support your recovery. But some situations require that you focus on kindness to yourself.
An ongoing relationship that does not serve you well absolutely puts your recovery at risk—and that is a risk you simply cannot take. You have worked too hard to reclaim your life from drugs and alcohol.
We Will Always Be Here to Offer Support
Located near Wichita, Kansas, Bel Aire Recovery Center will see you through detoxification and rehabilitation—and then continue to support you as your recovery journey gets underway. We are experienced experts in our fields, and we approach our work with a commitment to empathy. That means you will only receive the help you need at Bel Aire—never judgment.
We know it can be hard to take the first step toward recovery. But we also know that we can help you reclaim your life and build a better future for yourself. You will never have reason to regret your relationship with the team at Bel Aire Recovery Center.
