When a friend or family member is struggling with drugs or alcohol, you are likely to feel a whole bunch of emotions. You might feel sad or angry or disappointed. You might feel helpless or anxious or overwhelmed. You might feel a combination of any or all of those things.
And you might have a strong desire to be of service to the person you care about.
That is certainly a noble sentiment, and it is true that many—even most—people suffering from a substance use disorder need assistance in order to find their way back to sobriety.
The trouble is that it can be extremely difficult to know just how to be helpful. In fact, the ongoing substance-fueled behavior of your friend or family member might make it seem as though there really is not any way you can help.
That is an understandable feeling, but we would encourage you not to give up. You can make a real difference in the life of someone who is trying to face down a substance use disorder. We have a few suggestions for how you might do that.
Be a Person They Can Talk To
Even before a person is ready to take a big step like getting into treatment, they may want to talk to someone about what they are going through. This can be difficult because so many people are likely to judge them or harangue them or what have you. What they likely need, however, is someone who will just listen to them and show them kindness.
If you can be that person, you might find you are building a trusting relationship that could eventually enable you to lovingly encourage them to get the help they need.
But we want to note this important distinction: Being there for someone who is struggling does not mean condoning their behavior or enabling it. You don’t do anyone any good if you excuse their drug or alcohol use or—worse—provide them with access to drugs or alcohol. It is important to be trustworthy and kind. It is equally important to set boundaries.
Be Willing to Help with the Details of Getting Help
One of the difficulties a person struggling with drugs or alcohol might have is an inability to think clearly enough to figure out how to get the help they need. The process of getting into a treatment program involves a number of moving parts.
For example, the person needs to figure out how to take time off from work or school to pursue treatment. They need to understand what their insurance will and won’t cover. They might need to figure out childcare or pet sitting. They might need help packing for inpatient treatment or need a ride to their outpatient program. Indeed, they might need help simply identifying a fully accredited treatment facility.
If you are able to help them deal with these details, you will be helping them pursue sobriety.
Be There During and After Treatment
For a person who is undergoing inpatient treatment, visitors can bring a sense of hope and support. While only family members may be permitted to visit (and are encouraged to do so), a friend may be able to provide support in other ways during the treatment process. For example, a friend may offer to help out family members—with transportation, childcare, meal prep, and the like—so that they are able to visit the person in treatment.
After treatment, a newly sober individual needs a strong support network that will help them maintain their sobriety over time. As a close friend of someone who has gone through treatment, you can be a key part of that network. That means being available to listen (just as you were before treatment), gently reminding them to do things like attending their recovery program meetings, and helping them anticipate and avoid situations where temptations or pressure to drink or use drugs might arise. But it also simply means being a good friend—just as you are to any of your other friends.
We Can Help Your Friend or Family Member
Located near Wichita, Kansas, Bel Aire Recovery Center offers personalized treatment for substance use disorders and co-occurring mental health disorders. We provide inpatient, outpatient, and virtual treatment services, and our robust aftercare program ensures that our alumni have ongoing access to support and resources. Our approach to treatment includes both cutting edge clinical methods and holistic elements. We rely on evidence-based practices supported by our high levels of expertise, our years of experience, and our deep well of empathy. Our common vision is to treat people the way we would want to be treated. And that could make us the perfect place for your friend or loved one to tackle the challenges that come with a substance use disorder.
